Mayweather vs. McGregor: A Look Into the Future!

By: Brostradamus

Just take a moment and soak it in, combat sports fan. Mayweather vs. McGregor…

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This is all kinds of crazy. Now it is time to take a peek inside Brostradamus’ crystal ball in preparation for the biggest and bestest(?) combat sports matchup since ever: Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs Conor MacGregor in 12 rounds of boxing! What will become of this showdown? Let us see:

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The build-up to this fight was as epic and showy as the stars themselves. #bestpart Not only are they both savvy showman, they are p4p trash-talking greats. The press conference was as exciting as any McGregor lead-in; reports say: “Multiple cans of Monster thrown. Mayweather was not hit, as he is a ‘midget’, but two members of his entourage were caught unaware, as they were placing online bets for Mayweather at the time. Asked for comment on the injuries sustained, Floyd Sr. stated, ‘there are different levels’.”

Well, after such fireworks outside the ring, what do we expect from the fight itself?

Ooh, the fog is clearing. I see contention in the future. Its outcome…

…”Mayweather Cruises to Decision Victory”

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Shoulder rollin’ rollin’ rollin’, Floyd Jr. was barely hit in the matchup as he showed off great dance moves and nice hugs for 12 rounds. Conor makes a couple moments interesting, taking a lot of risk because Floyd makes Dominic Cruz’s punches feel adamantium-grade. The Philly Shell has looked impenetrable for his entire career, and Conor looked at his best just trying to punch through it and not around it.

Seems legit, but there are disturbances in the air. Kindly refill the basket and lets look again.

…”Mcgregor With a Knockout for the Ages”

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A glitch in the Matrix led to Mayweather getting caught by that left hand shot (that no one can take except Diaz and Holloway). McGregor hurled expletives on the microphone afterwards and was carried away on a chariot made of 100 dollar bills and vulcana wool.

Jeremy Stevens and a other UFC fighters were invited by Dana White to the after party celebration, but Jeremy never got in. He kept telling the bouncer to let him threw, but the bouncer denied access while asking his partner “who the fook is this guy?”

Well, that’s certainly one possibility. What else does the cyrstal foretell?

…”Mayweather Makes Short Work of His MMA Counterpart”

After gassing hard in round 4, McGregor began to load up on his punches. His posture fell, and Floyd capitalized with a counter hook (some protested that it was to the back of the head, but Floyd did it, so it was fine). Definitely a good chance of this happening.

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…”McGregor Puts On Clinic In Front of Empty Stadium”

GOAT boxer Conor McGregor showed why he is the boxer of boxers by picking apart the less-talented Mayweather with check hooks, bolo punches, shifts, and three seperately successful 20-punch combos (in a twist of fate amongst the confusion, Mario Yamasaki was reffing the match). 

Unfortunately only the judges saw it happen, as there was a PPV blackout and no one was in the audience. Boxing is dead, mma wins, and everybody is pissed they aren’t getting a refund for the fight. Luke Thomas complains about the rise of fake sports media, claims there is a chance. 

The crystal suggests this is unlikely, but I guess it’s possible.

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…”Scottish Fighter Schools Lloyd”

A wheel kick to the head ends the Tae Kwon Do match in a win for McGregor and ruins Lloyd’s career as an English professor and poet laureate.

Hmmm… must’ve been an alternate universe.

…”May-Mac Laugh All the Way to the Bank”

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Oh, we’ve found the real one. On August 26th, these two will fight for the moneyweight title as the king of combat sports. What you do with your money is your God given right as an American! Bro tip, catch ALL of the pre-fight antics. They’re free and with a higher probability of violence.

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