Editor’s Note: Before we had PlayStation and Xbox fanboys ALL CAPSING at each other on Reddit, we had a war rage on between Nintendo and Sega fans. Members of House Nintendo or House Sega were so by birthright (ie that was the system their parents happened to get them). Sidenote, to all you PC gamers, this is what you come off as with the “master race” shtick:
Now you can relive your childhood fan wars with the Sega Genesis Classic, the perfect Christmas gift for the bro that was all #TeamSonic growing up. For the bros out there that were #TeamMario (me), there is the Nintendo Mini!
By: Matt Alexander
We’re going back 4 years (or 25) to rep the Pepsi of the gaming world, the Sega Genesis. This version of the console came out a few years back with 80 pre-loaded games and two wireless controllers. The console itself, nothing more than a hub to receive signals and connect wires to TVs in this iteration, also plays old Sega cartridges if you can still find any. This system is a mature one, but she’ll keep you satisfied all night long if you treat her right.
Half of the games are, well … terrible. I’m not sure they were ever released on their own. Take courage, though, the other half are gems or console-definers, including but not limited to:
– Altered Beast — A dude becomes a beast, but gets his ass kicked for lack of opposable thumbs. Would not recommend to those who dislike migraines.
– Golden Axe (1,2,3) — Conan dude, bikini dragooness, and dwarf fight with weapons and magic to defeat Death Adder and his derivative baddies. Great fun, don’t expect to beat them.
– Mortal Kombat (1,2,3) — Friends gather together from cultures around the world to learn and live in harmony. JK, they fight to the death. There’s also a guy with 4 arms.
– Phantasy Star (2,3) — Apparently the first one wasn’t that great. They are RPGs. That’s all.
– Sonic the Hedgehog (a bunch of them) — Play as a blue hedgehog, then a bi-tailed fox, and eventually an echidna as you collect rings, free animals, and eventually beat up a fat scientist.
– Streets of Rage (1,2,3) — Sundry characters beat up thugs in a beat ’em up sidescroller. There’s a plot in there somewhere.
– Vectorman (1,2) — A collection of neon balls runs and jumps to collect other, smaller neon balls. A great way to learn Newtonian mechanics and Calculus.
The controls are a little different than their wired counterparts, but it hardly noticeable (except 2 players can’t join in simultaneously; oops). The games come from emulator versions, so there may be differences there as well. Just make sure your TV has non-HDMI hookups to handle the retro.
This classic console of gaming will be a welcome Christmas present to any neckbeard who doesn’t already have one. Be prepared to chillax with old school games this holiday season.
8/10 BroFists (2 controllers + 80 games / 16 bits + nostalgia)
BROEST BROS YOU KNOW 